If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die”. “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely”. On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?” “He said you’re going to die” she replied.Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people’s lives?” Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.I bumped into my ex in town earlier. I said “How’s your new bloke?” “He’s twice the man you are” she sneered “what about your new woman?” I said “Thankfully she’s half the woman you are... ?”Our. Beth was finally my wife, and she’s all I ever wanted and more. We spent our first night as man and wife in our cheap little one-bedroom apartment and made love for the first time. We were inexperienced, but not naïve. We read about, talked about, and fantasied together for years about the physical love we would show each other. Our plans for that first time were carefully and completely planned and our anticipation grew to its boiling point, which meant holding back was like trying to stop a train. The pleasure, bonding, and sensations we felt after 16 years of foreplay created a night of unimaginable joy. We were both overwhelmed by how our love grew immeasurably in that ultimate bonding. When the first coupling ended in perfect harmony, we were both reduced to tears by the beauty of the experience and our love for each other.I guess you’d say we liked it. We liked it a lot. We liked it six more times that night.The next morning, with bodies and specific parts rather sore, we awoke.
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